Fifty Shades Darker, the sequel to Fifty Shades of Grey, hits home this week. Despite seeing a sequel, some people have declared that Dakota Johnson and Jamie Dornan don’t exactly steam it up enough onscreen to do the novels justice (#NotMyChristian). We don’t necessarily agree, but we do know that any heat between the couples below wouldn’t have been enough to melt an ice cream while perched upon on the sun.


Angelina Jolie & Johnny Depp – The Tourist
The Tourist
More like a schoolboy with a crush on his school mistress than a hot romance, this collision serves as ample proof that just because you grab two huge stars and rub them together you won’t necessarily get sparks.


Nicole Kidman & Hugh Jackman – Australia
’Tis a fine yarn, but sure ’tis no steam, English. Yes, they may be the two biggest ’mans in Aussie acting, but this pairing of a dinkum bloke and a posh Pommy sheila falling for each other just didn’t ring true, blue.


Katie Holmes & Christian Bale – Batman Begins
Bruce Wayne and Rachel Dawes getting it on should be steamy, yeah? Nah. With chemistry akin to two Thunderbirds, there’s a reason Katie was replaced by super-hot Maggie Gyllenhaal in The Dark Knight.


Carey Mulligan & Leonardo DiCaprio – The Great Gatsby
They may have shared a steamy audition kiss, and even stills hinted at a whole lot of yowzah. But when it came to seeing them moving together in an allegedly romantic entanglement, things were definitely more wowser.


Molly Ringwald & Andrew McCarthy – Pretty in Pink
Pretty in Pink
We still lose sleep wondering how on Earth Andie could have gone for lifeless stiff Blane (that’s a major appliance, not a name!) when she had a perfectly devoted, sweet-as Duckie right there. What, it wasn’t real life? WHAT?!


Kate Winslet & Jack Black – The HolidayThe HolidayOK, so this one’s more of an odd coupling than a chemistry-free one. We love Kate Winslet and we love Jack Black (who could likely get on with anybody), but together there was something just kind of wrong. Maybe we were just jealous?


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