Hollywood is often accused of a lack of originality, and with the amount of remakes and reboots that they peddle it’s no surprise. Here are 25 movies currently in various stages of development (some hopefully cancelled by now) that may sound a tad familiar.
If we were Christian Bale we’d punch Noble Lincoln Jones, who’s down as co-writer and director of this rather unnecessary remake that’s in the works. Plus, the last thing we need is a new generation of angst-ridden guys identifying with a 21st century Patrick Bateman, the titular not-a-hero.
An American Werewolf in London
A beloved comedy-tinged horror flick to many, this remake is made all the more interesting in that it’s the baby of Max Landis, who is in turn the baby (now grown up, natch) of original creator John Landis. This one will eschew the couple of blokes hitting the moors for a girl/boy couple hitting the moors.
Big Trouble in Little China
Uh-oh. Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson is down to star in this totally unnecessary remake of the classic supernatural adventure. Still, when word first hit, Mr The Rock did say: “Know that I come to the project with nothing but love and respect for the original, which is why we want to bring on John Carpenter.”
Original: 1976 (TV), 2000 (movie)
This is just getting silly. Elizabeth Banks, who we do love and respect, is behind this totally unnecessary one, with Kristen Stewart and Lupita Nyong’o rumoured to be two thirds of the new Angels. Prepare for it to hit sometime in 2019.
OK, it’s getting sillier. Cliffhanger was one of the floppier Sly Stallone flicks of the ’90s, and that’s saying a lot. The mountain based rescue scenario is mooted to make a return though, with essentially nought but the writer – Joe Gazzam – currently known (if you can call an unknown known).
Drop Dead Fred
Replacing the late Rik Mayall with, as rumoured, Russell Brand in a remake of this ace imaginary friend comedy? “Hello, QANTAS? We’d like to book a flight to Hollywood, please. By the way, what’s your stance on carry-on weapons?”
Escape from New York
Man, with three entries in this list, Kurt Russell is really copping it. This sci-fi future (which, we guess, is now the past) banger had an awesome action cast and was perfectly of its time. Mind you, if Robert Rodriguez, who’s rumoured to direct, is on board then we guess it could work out. Maybe.
It’s no surprise that Russell Mulcahy’s tale of an immortal Scottish swordsman is considered ripe for the rebooting, but there’s a lot of fan love that anybody tackling it needs to be careful with – and that anybody is Chad Stahelski, the director of the cool John Wick 2, which makes us feel a little better.
I Know What You Did Last Summer
Is anybody going to get all super upset if Lois Duncan’s tale of four friends and a slasher is remade? Probably. Ouija: Origin of Evil creators Mike Flanagan and Jeff Howard have apparently completed a script, but that’s where news on this project stops… for now.
Another classic sci-fi tale plucked from the past, those behind this may escape fan wrath in that the plan is for a new take based on the 1967 novel by William F. Nolan and George Clayton Johnson, rather than the liberty-taking movie. With Joel Silver producing there’s serious muscle behind this one.
The closest on this list to reality, this remake of the Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell comedy gem is set to drop in April, 2018. Anna Faris – the go-to girl for Goldie-like roles – will be accompanied onscreen by Eugenio Derbez and Eva Longoria, with the original roles reversed. Writer/director pair Bob Fisher and Rob Greenberg have the likes of Meet Dave and Wedding Crashers on their CVs, and the movie is so close that here’s the just-released trailer…
Central Intelligence writers Ike Barinholtz and David Stassen are behind this thing that New Line are planning, with Keegan-Michael Key and Jordan Peele also involved in a production capacity. Rumoured to be titled Police Academy: Next Generation, for what it’s worth the project has Steve Guttenberg’s blessing.
Another Goldie Hawn flick, but Anna Faris has missed the boat here (heh) and Rebel Wilson is set to star as Judy Benjamin. The story has been changed though, with it becoming more of a buddy flick, as Rebel plays a redneck alongside a rich city girl, both of whom enlist in the Marines to escape certain events in their lives.
Romancing the Stone
To some it was an Indiana Jones ripoff, to others it was an ace adventure movie that didn’t take itself too seriously. Either way, somebody at Fox reckons a new version is a good idea, although it’s been mooted for a good decade now. At one point Katherine Heigl and Taylor Kitsch were rumoured to be involved.
Original: 1932, 1983
The 1983 remake – the one that most people know – has become an oft-quoted classic crime flick. Now Diego Luna (TV’s Narcos) is said to be ready to say hello to Tony Montana’s little shoes, in a script that’s been modernised – and given a once or twice over by the Coen brothers.
She’s All That
Original: 1999 (ignoring Pygmalion and My Fair Lady, of course)
In a world that’s become like, you know, totally PC, we’d be surprised if this dubious ugly-duckling-is-given-a-prettiness-makeover-so-is-suddenly-super-popular thing makes it back without a heavy change of angle – good! Surely there’s better stuff to recycle?
Here are our childhood memories – #. Here are our childhood memories after Hollywood finished stomping on them – _. The perfectly of-it’s-time (and still really fun) tale of a war machine robot who gains sentience and a conscience after being zapped by lightning should be left alone. No reassemble!
Disney have commisioned a script for an update on Sister Act, the tale of nuns on the run who can sing up a storm. But seriously folks, could anybody imagine the tale without a powerhouse Whoopi Goldberg performance leading the way?
Alfred Hitchcock’s take on the Daphne Du Maurier story of birds and lots of them is a genuine milestone in horror moviemaking. We guess enough time has passed on this one to make a remake seem like a good idea, but hey, hard act to follow much? Still, with Michael Bay producing we could expect some cool effects. Transforming birds, anybody? Dutch horror director Diederick Van Rooijen has been connected with the project.
Another 1990s witchy thing that means a heck of a lot to a heck of a lot of people has fallen under Hollywood’s spell for the remake thing. Except it apparently isn’t so much a remake as two-decades later-sequel, with links to the original. Uh, OK. Divergent, Insurgent, Allegiant producer Douglas Wick was behind the original, and returns for this mooted new one.
The Naked Gun
There’s only one Leslie Nielsen, and, sadly, he’s no longer with us. Ed Helms as Frank Drebin? Sorry Ed baby, but no, we’re not buying in. Still, with Thomas Lennon and Robert Ben Garant, the writers of the likes of the recent Baywatch flick and Reno 911!, behind it, who knows…?
The NeverEnding Story
We can understand why this beautiful fantasy tale would appeal to the remake machine – just imagine what they could accomplish with modern effects tech. But recapturing that magic? If reports that Peter Jackson was involved were actually not just a joke that was regurgitated as fact then maybe we’d be keener.
Time Bandits (Terry Gilliam)
This is an interesting one. The creator of the original, Monty Python’s Terry Gilliam, was also believed to be involved. As such, he could do what he bloody well likes with it – including possibly stomping on a wonderful fantasy legacy. However, later news suggests that it’s just his (and Michael Palin’s) story that’s being given the old reboot without their involvement.
For a while it was going to be a new interactive game, which sounded cool for this story of a kid who accidentally hacks into the US war machine. Now it looks like the standard Updated for Kids of Today® approach is being taken, with Project Almanac and Power Rangers (2017) director Dean Isaraelite at the helm.
See our comments about She’s All That, as they’re in the same sphere of relevance. John Hughes’ one for the boys tale of two geeks who turn a Barbie doll into a living, breathing, whipping fantasy chick survived the TV series treatment, so will likely also survive an updated retelling. Still, news that Scott Pilgrim vs the World writer Michael Bacall is behind the script can only be a good thing.