It’s Marvel vs. DC – and Marvel vs. Marvel – in our hypothetical clash of comic book titans. Choose a side and stand clear, ‘cause it’s clobberin’ time!
QUICKSILVER vs. THE FLASH
This lightning fast duo might appear to be perfectly matched, but don’t place your bets just yet. It all comes down to speed, which would need to be equalized to guarantee a fair fight. But given they’re quicker than the blink of an eye, it wouldn’t exactly be a spectacle, and would all be over in a, well, flash.
WINNER: It would take a degree in physics to know for sure. Draw
THE HULK vs. THE THING
“It’s clobberin’ time” indeed, in a face-off between two Marvel behemoths. Would Hulk smash his Fantastic Four adversary into gravel? He has the advantage over the Thing in terms of size and aggression, and the two have traded blows in the comics – with Hulk usually emerging the victor. It would be a banner fight, but the outlook is grim for Thing. (See what we did there?)
X-MEN vs. WATCHMEN
Doctor Manhattan has the ability to control matter and can alter his size at will. He’s also indestructible. What hope do a bunch of mutants have against these god-like powers? None. He’d simply teleport them all to Mars and go home early. Take him out of the Watchmen equation, however, and the X-factor has the edge.
WINNER: Watchmen, or rather Doctor Manhattan
WONDER WOMAN vs. WOLVERINE
In this battle of the sexes, Wolverine has the healing advantage and the Lasso of Truth would be cut, pronto. However, Wonder Woman’s bracelets can easily deflect those adamantium blades. Logan has a soft spot for the ladies and this would be his Achilles’ heel – but only in a timeline where Jean Grey/Phoenix was dead. If she weren’t, Diana would be toast!
WINNER: Wonder Woman
DEADPOOL vs. LEGO BATMAN
Eminently a war of wisecracks that might go something like this:
LEGO Batman: “Batman is very wise. I also have huge pecs and a nine pack.”
Deadpool: “I’m about to do to you what Limp Bizkit did to music in the ‘90s.”
In the unlikely event these two actually canned the repartee and got physical, Deadpool would dismantle what is essentially “a talking brick”.