If you’re more into Krampus than Claus, get listening to these festively evil tracks.

Henry Rollins, Twas the Night Before Christmas

Hardcore hero turned motivation speaker Henry Rollins lends his spookiest growl to this cover of Twas the Night Before Christmas. This is the punk version of Arnie going kid movie in Kindergarten Cop, if Kindergarten Cop ended with a massacre.

 

Christopher Lee, Jingle Hell

Lee’s subversions of Christmas songs have been an internet classic for years, partially as a symbol of how great Lee’s life must’ve been before he passed away in 2015. Imagine having played a whole slew of critically acclaimed roles, being immortalised as Saruman in one of the biggest film franchises of all time, and being 90 years old just shredding with your pals on the weekend and putting out a heavy metal Christmas album. He really had it all.

 

Twisted Sister, Oh Come All Ye Faithful

When you’ve got hair as big as some Christmas trees you’re legally obliged to do a Christmas cover. Especially if you’re in a metal band, because everybody knows Santa is an anagram of Satan.

 

My Chemical Romance, All I Want for Christmas Is You

My Chemical Romance just love a ballad, and as a band fuelled entirely by obsession, their version of the already possessive All I Want For Christmas Is You is deliciously wicked.

 

Justin Bieber ft. Busta Rhymes, Little Drummer Boy

We all make mistakes.

 

American Horror Story, Carol of the Bells

The genuinely terrifying Asylum chapter of American Horror Story marked a high point for a series which has been steadily deflating since, and part of why was its audio cues. This creepy cover of Carol of the Bells is just one example. Good horror relies on subverting anything that makes us feel good and safe, making Christmas time ripe for this grim parody of American culture.

 

John Denver, Please Daddy, Don’t Get Drunk This Christmas

Not a spooky turn on an otherwise pleasant carol, just a very, very sad song!