Lower The BarWARNING: Extremely crass ‘n’ crude correspondence from Steel Panther guitarist Satchel regarding new album Lower The Bar. Please avert your eyes if you have any taste whatsoever.

The album is titled Lower The Bar – who do you think should be lowering their bar, and how low should they be going?

Lowering the bar is essential to being a happier person. Think about it. If you go out looking to f-ck a 10 and you wind up with a 6, you’re bummed. But if you’re happy just f-cking something that isn’t canine, then you wind up with a 6, you are f-cking ecstatic.

Walk Of Shame details a girl leaving a hotel after a wild night. Instead of “walk of shame”, I prefer “stride of pride” – shouldn’t gals be proud of spending the night with you?

Well, you are obviously a “glass half full” kind of person. But the reality is most of us are gonna f-ck some sludge piggies after nine or 12 shots of Patron. The walk of shame is alive and kicking. And yes… girls are usually pretty stoked after a night with me. Michael, not so much.

Michael also does some old school jazz scatting at the beginning of that track; are you guys inspired by classic jazz styles in any other ways?

Yes. You know who Dizzy Gillespie is? His cheeks get all big when he plays his trumpet, right? Sometimes Stix’s cheeks look like that when he eats pizza after the shows.

How did you get Paris Jackson involved in the She’s Tight video?

She’s a big fan of Steel Panther, for obvious reasons. She told me that she thinks we might be the only band that can actually save heavy metal. She also said I’m the sexiest one in the band.

Last time we spoke to you, Lexxi told us his dream is to go to the zoo and poke a silverback gorilla in the eye. In our post- Harambe world, is that still a goal?

Well, you have to admit that would be an exhilarating experience. I think it would be worth angering some of the animal protection groups. F-ck… I’d like to poke some of those f-ckers in the eye as well.

You’ve said you’re going to keep playing and partying until a bandmember ODs. Why do you think you’ve evaded the reaper so far (and congrats!)?

I think the drugs help. That and I don’t make left hand turns when I drive; I’ll do three right hand turns to achieve the same result with less risk.

You’ve been going strong for 16 years; what do you do when you feel your seemingly bottomless supply of creativity is drying up? How do you re-amp yourselves?

We have an endless supply of inspiring experiences on the road. I can’t imagine hitting a dry spell. But if it happens, we’ll just get high and f-ck some b-tches and I’m sure the songs will start flowing like ***** ***** [Good Lord – Ed].

Lower The Bar is out now on vinyl and CD via Kobalt.

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